So since the beginning of time, drunks of ancient histories have been searching high and mostly low for cheap drinks. I know this because even Jesus was sad when the vino stopped aflowin’ and tried to turn water into wine. That’s hot! And desperate. And that’s what cheap drunks are all about.
With that said, here is your first lesson in cheap drinks. Back when I was in college, drinking on the cheap was more important than getting laid. While having a dumb dude you didn’t really want to talk to offer to buy you a drink was probably as cheap a drink as you could get, the price of patronization was too high for me!
My second resort was the local Chipotle. Chipotle calls itself a fast casual dining establishment, which basically means you can’t be so lazy that you will not get out of your car if you want to eat there, but you can be lazy enough to wear pajamas while you pound a beer and a 5lb burrito and not get judged. Here, you can also buy yourself the strongest, probably most worth your money Margarita the loose change in your couch and car can buy!
$3.75 = approximately a party cup of marg
These margaritas are neither skimpy nor weak or watered down. Trust me. These are the best margaritas you will find for the price. There is no information on what tequila they use or how they make these treasures of the aztec gods, but please believe me when I tell you, you will get trashed. They top you out at 3 ( i have tested this and been denied a 4th ) and I encourage you to call ahead before you make a trip out to your local Chipotle because not every location has a permit to sell these cheap drunk drinks.
So the next time you feel the need to taste the tears of a mexican angel, stop by your nearest Chipotle, order yourself a margarita (on the rocks or blended), hand the man an abe lincoln (don’t forget your change), and feel victorious for cheap drunks worldwide!! Victory for the people indeed! Orale.